Not yet...

I just try to find a place to have a deep and serious conversation with God.

Yes,I found a nice place that can provide enough light for me to read my Bible and wrote whatever thought during this silent retreat.

I tried to focus myself but I'd easily got mad for those who made noise when they walked beside me. I was distracted. I'd prayed and prayed to God to make me concentrate for our conversation, but it didn't worked. I tried to find a suitable place again and again then I finally settle myself on the stairs that I can easily see th stars. I try to control myself, try to focus on the silence, enjoying the view above and let God talk to me.

I just wondered why I can't hear anything inside of my heart. Just nothing except on those noisy people on my far left side. I read my Bible again once more, any verses ( I believe that it would reflect my situation ) but I couldn't understand it although I knew what the story was all about.

Confuse, so I looked again at the stars. I hear something that disciples me about my attitude towards someone that made noise. Suddenly, I thought and realized that I was already disturbed by my surroundings and let it destroy my focus.

God's word is everywhere, but I let those nonsense things to be my priority to look at. I realized that lately I'm already disturbed by the trends of the world that hinders me to grow more in a deeper relationship with God. Although I must be transformed and renewed my mind, I can't help myself to fall and do those whatever norms created by this world. God let it happen for me to realized the situation that I'm facing nowadays. I'm not yet turned and fall away.

Not Yet...Though I have fallen I will rise and shall come back to my light. I will...
-Campus Retreat (June 5,2010)
Taal, Batangas